Anyone in Bangalore feel like making meaningful connections after 30 is ridiculously difficult?

Hey all,

Growing up as a mid 90s kid, the ecosystem around me ensured that I had to study well. Otherwise, my parents would scare me by saying I would end up looking after buffaloes in the fields and live a mediocre, shitty life. My school and college days were extremely hectic, and the lecturers made sure we were constantly worried about our future. I worked hard and ended up doing amazingly well academically.

I started my career in 2017 at a product-based company with a great package, and it's been 9 years now. During all these years, I made sure my entire family got into a much better financial position. I'm reasonably fit, recently bought a car, have travelled extensively across India, visited two countries, and eaten at many expensive restaurants.

Until I turned 29, I dated two wonderful women(old-school romantic relationships). Dating itself was pretty rare since I am from a tier-2 city in South India, but neither relationship ended in marriage because their parents didn't agree to intercaste marriages.

I started searching through the arranged marriage route about three years ago, and honestly, it has been the most horrible phase of my life. If I find someone within my community, the horoscope doesn't match, or our location preferences don't work out. If I find someone outside my community, somehow the girl isn't able to convince her parents.

I tried Bumble for two years, and honestly, the ghosting is unreal. Even if I get 30 matches, only 3–4 actually hold a proper conversation. Matrimonial sites are a disaster too—they feel way too transactional, and there's plenty of ghosting there as well.

Recently, I decided to expand my social circle and joined salsa classes. It's been close to two months now, but somehow people don't seem that interested in socialising. At work, I have started casually approaching people from other teams with a random smile and a quick conversation, and that's been going reasonably well so far, but nothing substantial has come out of it yet.

I have also attended meetups like Thrifty Social in Bangalore, but the gender ratio was a disaster. I did solo travelling for nearly two years and met a couple of like-minded people along the way, but they either turned out to be heavy alcoholics or the vibe just faded after some time. Solo travelling in India also taught me how important it is to find the right partner in life.

I have stayed in plenty of hostels and actively participated in stranger's meetups, but somehow I still feel it's incredibly hard to build genuine connections in Bangalore.

I have never had a sexual relationship because I always believed in monogamous relationships. Maybe South Indian movies exaggerated love and portrayed relationships as something almost perfect which, in reality, either rarely exists or happens only for a very small number of people.

Now, at this age, if I want to date, I mostly come across married women, while women born after 1999 often perceive me as too old. The dating pool feels really bad at this stage.

Lately, I have been feeling extremely empty. I genuinely miss emotional intimacy, and yes, physical intimacy too. With AI disruption, i feel way too demotivated to upskill and aim for higher salary.

Is anyone else going through something similar? How are you coping with it?

PS: I am not necessarily looking for dating tips at this point. I am more curious whether others in Bangalore, especially those in their late 20s and early 30s, have experienced something similar, and how you have navigated it.