Lost my mom suddenly - three month update

Hi,

I wrote here a couple of months ago when my mom had recently passed. I mostly decided to make this post to offer some slight comfort to others going through loss.

It's been over three months now since my mom passed away unexpectedly. The pain was awful, but I live together with my partner so I was never alone. My dad didn't have anyone else and he now lives alone (or, at least he has a cat.) I was hurting because of the loss of my mom, but also hurting for my dad. My mom was his entire life. It's been so heart-wrenching watching him be so hopeless. I've been visiting him weekly despite the distance and helped him with legal matters and paperwork following my mom's passing.

Now the dust has settled, all paperwork has been done, stress is mostly out of the way and my dad no longer lives in the apartment he shared with my mom -- too many memories. My dad still misses my mom so much and he "chats" with her sometimes, but he's calmed down a lot now and he's starting to feel like my dad again.

I carried a lot of guilt for different reasons, but I get less of those thoughts now. There are still days I cry, but it's not everyday. I'm crying now because I'm actively thinking that my mom's not here. Me and my partner just found out that we're going to have a child, and it has also caused some hurt. My mom was so excited that she was going to be a grandma when I told her that we're trying. It hurts that she's not here to share this with me, and I can't ask her for advice. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to, though. Now I mostly just miss her which makes me sad.

TLDR; I ended up rambling but what I wanted to really say is that even though it feels hopeless at first, it gets better. Of course you will always miss them and there are days when you will cry because of a certain memory or thought, but life goes on and you will adjust to the new normal. I'm sorry for everyone's loss. You will survive this, but you will need to grieve properly. Don't push those feelings away. Talk about it and cry as much as you need to.

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."