28[m4f] #missouri, #online - in search of bushy femcel dork to give bear hugs and have long talks while I bathe her

You probably don’t exist, but just in case you’re lurking on reddit…

Be a dork, be a tomboy, have a sense of humor. Age isn't a huge deal to me and anything under 40 is fine as long as you can be a mature adult, Location doesn't matter as long as you're willing to travel. I don't mind outcasts, NEETs, femcels, or weebs. I actually prefer them sometimes. Basically, just be a sweet and dorky tiny woman and sit on me a lot. I'd like to find a best friend to game with and call a lot, and then hopefully it can turn into more than that in the future.

So, about me. I’m 5’11,” normal sized, and my hair is super long. I look real mean, but I promise I'm not. I'd call myself abrasively zen. I'm a bit of a nerd. I'm kind of a cinephile. I love music; I love composition and like to learn all the trivia. I have kind of an absurdist sense of humor and like to say creatively stupid garbage. I am extremely passionate about writing and my other hobbies, and I'd prefer if you're the same way about yours. I have about 8 million random recorded story ideas because I want to be a writer. Ask me about writing, movies, or music and I’ll talk forever. I'm a gamer as well (elden ring or destiny or anything else with vast lore because I love lore), whether I'm playing with my partner, or just watching her play animal crossing or something. I'm very much a homebody but I like to get out; I want to try that hole in the wall restaurant, I wanna walk around the historic downtown, I wanna check out the museum, I wanna teach you to shoot, I wanna go to the zoo lol. I also love to cook. I will make you fat. I hope you like Italian.

I grew up poor, so I don't really go for vanity or materialism. Obsessions with things like fashion and makeup and jewelry are dry and shallow to me. I'm a minimalist, and I appreciate practicality and simplicity. I also appreciate individual thinking, so I'm not really into the political fanaticism. I believe in responsibility at the individual level, so things like being honest, thoughtful, and having integrity are paramount. You won't find me having any part-time principles. I'm very patient, and I'm an extremely attentive listener. I've handled a great deal of stress without breaking, and I'm a good reliable rock to lean on when I'm needed.

In relationships, I love being of use, whether it's cooking, helping around the house, or being a shoulder to cry on. It just feels good to be reliable; but I also appreciate reciprocity and good communication, so I'm not into being treated like a punching bag or a door mat. I have firm boundaries when it comes to not communicating like an adult, like cheating or being manipulative. I'd rather team up with my partner against our problems, not the other way around. I like things stable and healthy.

So that's me, what I like, and what I'm like.

Anyway, if I can be ridiculous for a moment, if any of this is you, come after me please: you're a clingy, thrifty, sheltered, tomboyish artist that likes when I cook for you and rants at me about your day in the shower while I watch (this is my favorite thing ever) or even jump in with you and wash your hair. You appreciate being touched and held constantly and are totally insatiable. You usually wear basically nothing but a big shirt at home and are obsessed with lego or hot wheels or 40k or something geeky and crafty. You love music and writing and like to just grab a pizza and watch a movie together most nights. You spend your free time gaming and laughing at stupid crap on the internet, and you babble incessantly about the things you love and hate. You love flashing me because it's funny (I love being flashed lol), you can also secretly sing like Annie Wilson, and also are a tok sen masseuse. You're also a Martian and don't exist.

Anyway, that's just my little fantasy, not a checklist or anything. I don’t have many hard requirements on who you are, long as I can level with you fundamentally and we get along. I require a little patience and some figuring out, but I’m also pretty patient myself. You can talk to me about, or ask me about basically anything. I'm very hard to offend so please try to be engaging. I hope someone that every word of this post speaks to ends up finding me.

Please put in some effort. Opening a conversation with "hi," makes me sad. Having to play 20 questions with you to keep your attention makes me sad. Finding out after all those questions that we have nothing in common makes me sad. If you're interested, show some interest.