I always fail when it matters the most

I crumble under pressure, that is just one of my failings and combine that with my other failings and my epicly slow brain, I just cant do things the way they should be done. I am not able to handle work(internship), I had a huge off and I completely wasted it because I was scared of working, I just couldnt understand what I was doing and now I have to submit my work by next week. I failed to get into a good college because I couldn't study during the last year of HS, that acc to me is not a big issue but then even in uni I couldnt do sh*t, I am behind technically from my peers, they are so much more talented than me and they work instead of slagging of like me. They go out and enjoy their life and I just sit and compare myself, I am not happy, I am lonely

sorry if it doesnt make sense