How do I become a monk? Nobody likes me and I think this would be the best course for the rest of my life.

I already shaved my head bald and started sitting “criss-cross-applesauce” everywhere I sit down, but I’m not feeling any sort of change yet. Is it the way I’m dressed? I wear pyjamas most of the time, but I’m willing to invest in proper “monk-wear”if this will help speed up the process. if anyone has reached enlightenment, please help!