Can external meltdowns still feel like you're bottling up your distress?

This is mostly just a "Does this sound like a meltdown?" post. I'm not sure whether I'm autistic, but sometimes I feel like my anxiety/panic attacks might be meltdowns?

(tw: for self-harm and self-harm ideation in a way)

Sometimes I get reactions like this when I'm really anxious, but I also often get reactions like this when things kind of stack on top of each other. To give a specific example - recently I went to the zoo and there were too many people, there was too much noise, it was too warm, I overate a bit, there were some stupid lights in a restaurant... It just felt like too much. Sometimes before I get a bigger reaction I might just be a bit out of it and just stare at the ground or something.

For the actual reaction... It feels as if I had an insane amount of energy in my body in a bad way. I often flap my hands or touch my neck or vaguely touch my body in ways that are weird to others. It unfortunately often leads to me slapping my chest or scratching my arms/thighs. It just feels insane in the moment. It feels as if I was suddenly super claustrophobic and my clothes and my neck were suffocating me and simultaneously as if I desperately needed to be like physically restrained or something. In those moments I don't feel like I'm in total control of my body. There's no "I shouldn't scratch myself in public, it's inappropriate", it's like automatic and humiliating. I can at most make it less visible. It feels as if I wanted to scratch myself out of my body despite the fact that I do not like hurting myself and do not self-harm outside of this. When it's because of sensory stuff, it feels like my discomfort from sensory things is like wayyy worse even from stuff that generally doesn't bother me.

Weirdly enough, it doesn't feel like enough. I often feel as if I almost need to like scream or throw things or something. Somehow, those reactions still feel like I'm just trying to prevent an even worse reaction.

Depending on what caused the reaction and depending on how long it was, I might be somewhat fine afterwards or I might feel pretty damn worn out for the rest of the day.