Scared about pain after surgery.

38F here, scheduled for everything but the ovaries out next month, but im scared about my past causing issues.

I was in a very long and abusive relationship with someone who pressured me into using stimulants for weight loss. Coke/meth. I was a different person then. I was weak, had no voice, no backbone, I was being used and abused, I was lonely, desperate, and did anything he wanted.

I never lied to my doctors about it, but was always treated like absolute shit any time I had go to the doctors. I wish Id never told them.

But over 4 years ago, I got out of that relationship, went cold turkey in one day, and have been completely sober since. I stopped smoking weed 6 years ago, no illegal drugs in 4+ years, I maybe have a seltzer or mixed drink once every couple months, and I even had my psychiatrist help me get off alprazolam (I've had MDD and PTSD since I was a child). At that 4 year point years ago, I was having such bad psychosis I had my mom take me to the hospital and told them i had been usinf meth every day. I didnt lie about anything. They treated me, i was released 2 days later, and that was the end of it.

But I know that means there is a record of it and I am getting my hysterectomy at the same hospital. Any and all blood and urine tests I've had in the last 4 years will prove and show that I have been completely clean and sober. My psychologist and PCP should be willing and able to back me up.

But I do not tolerate pain well, and I am terrified because of my past that they won't give me anything other than ibuprofen or Tylenol, which does nothing for me. ​​​​​I hear all these stories of how women's pain is not treated equally to men, and I can't imagine having this surgery with nothing but ibuprofen.

What do I do? How do I broach this subject without them looking at me as a drug seeker? I am not the person I was and have worked tirelessly to change my life. Im not worried about painkillers triggering some kind of relapse or anything. Im afraid I'll be treated like trash and that I will be left to deal with excruciating pain because I sought help over 4 year ago.

How do I talk to my doctor about this? He is a rather serious almost on the spectrum kind of guy, but also I've heard is the best there is in my area for this procedure.

Im scared of my past mistakes ending up in me not being treated like a human being.

I would appreciate any advice. Please try not to judge my past mistakes. I did not bave the strength back then that I do now.