Am I the only one who atp indulges in beauty for the sake of it?

I am what I call effortFULLY beautiful, aka I can look decent, but no part of it is natural, and everything will take all the effort out of my body.

I used to enjoy make up etc before but now I just perform 'feminity' for the sake of it. I feel like there is so much to fix, so much to do, while the goal post always keeps on moving. I don't even care about my looks that much, but because society judges me based on that, I get treated based on that, I was bullied, and my body shamed everything because of that there is no longer an option to opt out of it.

My hair is naturally Indian wavy untamable, but I goy them rebonded for management. My skin was never clear, but I used tretnoin, salsylic acid, and snail mucin just to try and fail to keep it spotless with 2-3 other products. Underarms and tighs are pigmented, so lactic acid cream for that, back acne and arm acne is there so different soap, salsylic acid spray. Glycolic acid on my scalp because I have fucking dandruff and a unwanted Phd in all this chemistry

How dare my feet look crusty and dusty? Urea cream and foot filler for that! And fingers? They are too small, so obviously, I need long nails painted, of course!

Need to get my everybrows, upper lips, full body wax done every month. Don't you know I am supposed to look like a kid? And if i don't, my own best friend goes, ewww, so hairy!!!

Go the gym at least four times a week, eat in a deficit just to get in shape, and stay that way. Fitness comes second because your family insulting you for being fat obviously comes the first.

And the hair you rebonded? Ensure they get a hair mask every week! Maybe get a hair regrowth serum because what if you start resembling a little baldie? And obviously, as your new growth will come, you will need a new touch-up. Just like new clothes because don't you know the previous one is out of fashion???

But dare to fail on any of it and slip anywhere and be ready to be butt of the joke, being looked over and acting like your needs don't exist. And all of it would make you rip apart your same dang hair 🫠

Sorry, by the end of it, I completely lost it because of my frustration, but yeah, how are you guys handling all this? This is the list without adding the 'problems' I can't fix without surgery, aka my nose, jaw, and small height 🫠