My body is physically going through a breakup even though I’m in a very happy relationship.

My partner is away for the summer for a study program and it’s only been a few days so far and my anxiety is through the roof.

My previous partner also went away for grad school and provided so much assurance that everything would be okay. They broke up with me 2 months in, said they weren’t in love with me, and that they couldn’t grow while in a relationship with me.

Now my current partner is away at this program, and they are thriving. Made friends immediately. Learning a lot. Even got asked out already.

I’m glad that they’re happy. I want them to succeed. And even though we still call every night and I feel love from them, I can’t help but fear that they’re going to realize there’s so much better things out there than me. Like their success and growth = they’re moving on without me.

I logically know they love me and that it’s not fair to put my past stuff into this, but I can’t help it no matter how much I try to reason with myself. I can’t stop crying. My heart is pounding. I can’t sleep. I feel heartbreak, and it isn’t even real. I’m putting myself through this for no reason and I feel like a terrible partner. I don’t know how to stop.