I secretly resent my parents

On a throwaway because I don't really want anyone to know it's me.

So I'm 19, I do really well in school and my parents flex me off to everyone else as the 'perfect kid'. I have two siblings older than me, my brothers 25, has a daughter who's 7 and has been in and out of jobs for the past like 6 years. My sister's 20 and is finally clean after being on drugs since about 16 ish (YAY) she has a daughter born just a month ago whom is arguably the cutest baby ever. Her baby's father is in jail and has not so great relationships with my parents and all that awesome stuff whatever.

This is where I have to confess, my siblings both got their first cars paid off by my parents, my brother had 2 because he totaled his first one. My sister crashed hers too and got her license revoked, as soon as she got it back, she got my step-dads car for $1. My brother got a year or so at college before dropping out and my step-dad paid off his debts from a college fund he had saved up.

Now it's my turn and I guess they think their 'perfect kid' can do it all myself. I dont have a fund like they did, im 19 and still no car, even though I send them used ones all the time. Im paying for college out of pocket and all the scholarships I have. Im doing it all on my own and I feel like im going crazy. I love my siblings but they've done dumb stuff their whole lives and had that support, cars, funding and I have nothing. I got a part time job and my grandma drives me back and forth and I do house sitting to save up for my car. But between saving up and my parents needing money for bills or help, I keep taking one step forward and two steps back.

I dont want them to feel bad for not having a fund for me, because money has always been a sour subject in our house. Ive been homeless before, I understand it. However, we've been financially stable for 7 years and they haven't even saved 3k for a shitty car. I know im sounding ungrateful and I probably am, im just wanting to get this off my chest.

Sorry for the long message! Happy 4th for those that celebrate! Be careful