My (25F) boyfriend (25M) of almost 5yrs did something I never thought he'd do

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Hello reddit, I'm using a throw away account just in case. (I'd like to preface this with we both have very serious and severe mental health disorders his: schizophrenia mine: bipolar 1) A situation happened where me and my boyfriend had gotten into and argument. It was over something small but it escalated to something serious.Basically he had gotten upset and beside himself to the point of tears because I got little annoyed while taking him to get food. There was multiple factors that annoyed me, the timing meant long line, It was midnight so that means there was going to be a bunch of drunk idiots, I asked him 2 hrs prior if he wanted anything while I was out (I had gone to the store). He picked up on my annoyance while in the car and after get him food (I didn't get anything because I wasn't feeling hungry) he started sulking. I didn't address in the car because I didn't want to fight in the car. When we get home we go inside walk different ways when I hear him crying on the patio his food is set on the coffee table. I go to check on him and he starts yelling at me to leave, and that I hate him. I try explaining that I don't hate him, I was just annoyed at the situation not at him, and I didn't get food bc I wasn't hungry.

We go inside I assure him there's no reason to cry and try comforting him. He goes off to his music room. I hadn't heard him moving around for awhile so I go to check on him. He's laying down on the floor still upset. I know he's hungry which is probably making him feel worse so I ask "baby aren't you going to eat?" Thinking about eating cold fast food when you're sad tends to make you feel worse I said "Your foods going to get cold." This when things really start to escalate.

He started yelling at me "You always try to make me feel shitty, you always trying to guilt trip me." Upon hearing this I lose my shit and just start repeatingly screaming "LEAVE THEN, JUST LEAVE" (Context: this is not the first time he has in one way or another said I'm a terrible girlfriend that I'm terrible to be with. From quite literally telling me,I make his life miserable; to name calling such as saying I'm selfish and horrible to be with. After fights where things like this were said he has always wanted to "work things out." He didn't mean the things he said he's trying to self sabotage. Promise of couples therapy. I'm not going to pretend innocent and say my mental health doesn't make me hard to be with too so I eventually always agree.)

The bad went to worse, in the midst of my yelling he's trying to yell sometimes back I can't really hear what he's saying but it sounds like he trying to tell how awful I'm to be with still so I'm still yelling at him to leave. he gets up starts, coming towards me, covers my mouth and pins me against the wall. I'm rightfully scared he's holding me against a wall while preventing me from screaming. So I move my head until I'm able to bite his hand to make him let go. When he let go of my mouth he instantly chokes me, not hard or long but it's clearly a choke. I don't know if he let goes because he realizes what he did or if he only let go because when he went for my throat I started kicking.

After I was free from him, I make my way to the door and we started arguing again with the door open. I don't quite remember what was said but I know I kept telling him what just happened to where, he says something about just trying to stop me yelling, that I bit him, I'm going to get the cops called and he's going to go jail. I close the door and some more things are said till we basically on an agreement that there's no coming back from what just happened. He goes to take the trash out (he does this a lot when we fight so he take a walk)

I'm starting to separate my clothes when he comes back in he starts apologizing for scaring me and saying what he did was really wrong. He talking about working things out going to counseling and I remind him that we were already supposed to be going to counseling.

Now hours later I feel more confused than initially.I KNOW I know logically I should leave there's always a risk of there being a next time After the first DV incident. But after all these almost 5yrs he had never laid hands on me til then. When he did pin and choke me it wasn't hard or long. He's been mostly a good understanding boyfriend except when he has mental health episode and the type of mental illnesses he has it's understandable why he lashes out like that.He had usually always helped me with my mental health episodes. And the abuse help sites I visit makes everything so black and white it just confuses me further on the situation. The vase majority of the abuse signs and advice do not apply to him. Could our relationship be saved with couples/individual therapy?(I already go to individual counseling) Any advice on dealing with my situation?