Stepping up a size

So I accidentally opened a box that wasn’t meant for me and my eyes nearly bulged out their sockets! My partner clearly wants to ruin me with her latest purchase; the girth of the thing is formidable.

She knows I love a challenge and I’ve hinted I want more of a stretch but this is close to 3x the size to our usual toy.

When she saw the open box, she said nothing and only gave a quirk of the eyebrows. The anticipation is killing me; what’s I guy got to do to get cracked?!