Is ok for me to be in this subreddit?

Hi all, firstly I’d like to say there are certainly people in my life who I love and have loved with BPD. My father being one of them. I too, experience/d bpd symptoms for a long time. And is why I am hoping to see if it’s okay for me to exist here too.

I fully agree with a lot of what you are all saying.. and I feel deeply for the abuses you have gone through while loving a literal wildfire of a human. I am here because it is important for people who experience this illness to take responsibility for who we are and how we treat others. A few posts I have read have really touched me, and caused a lot of introspection.

Not that this is a popular topic here…And I would also advise against hope for pwbpd to heal.. but I’ve done a lot of work to heal myself. And have really changed a lot about myself. There are still insecurities, fear of abandonment, and a desire to be wanted, plus a bit of anger at times. But most of that feels pretty normal compared to where I once was…

That being said I have found I attract younger women, with more severe bpd as a beacon of hope. And I for a while, wanted to believe they too could reach the place of fulfillment I have found (and worked so hard for). I have exhausted myself in these relationships. They have brought out some of
My weakness w bpd and used it against me. And for whatever it’s worth, has shined a mirror back to me. Which I thought was healthy. But not when it’s clouded with their manipulations.

It’s a strange place to be.. I recognize I too have my role, my manipulations, my protections, my justifications. All the while experiencing their extremes.

I guess I just landed here today and was really touched by what everyone was saying, for myself, and those I love. This seems like a sensitive community and a place that I am really happy exists because it is clear how many of you suffer in silence from this illness while the other “sufferer” screams out loud about it.

If it’s not okay for me to be here I will totally accept that.