Is he permanently done or just throwing another fit?

Im pissed off so excuse how rude i am. We talked back in march and he kept asking me for selfies and updates on my life. I got him therapy back last year and he seemed slightly better. Idfk. He said that him shutting down has nothing to do with me and his biggest fear was letting me down. He said hes like this with everyone and he *wants* to talk to me and said he misses me, dreams about me, and wants to be with me but feels like he cant because "im incapable of having a relationship" wtf does that even mean? Is he just fucking stupid? Idk i got mad at him, told him to fuck off then unadded him on everything. I did so much for him. He kept telling me he wanted to be with me and he "tried" and that he would never pass up on an opportunity to see me but i dont believe him. Is he lying? He said he didnt want to drag me down and explore the world and i told him what the actual fuck do you think im doing when im with him. Is there another person? Am i not good enough??? I saw he has this playlist called "i want to" thats literally filled with songs with romantic themes and shit that he still listens to. Im the only girl hes ever dated. They all talk about the same things, the same type of her. Is that playlist about me? One of the songs is literally called limerence, another called "i just want to hold her". Is he fucking serious? Is that literally about me????

He probably doesnt even remember me or miss me. He doesnt grieve the loss like how i do he probably doesnt care. He spent so much time trying to tell me it wasnt about me and how it never was about me and how he misses but its bullshit. He probably doesnt even remember my name.

Idk sorry im just really upset out of nowhere, havent taken my meds in a week