How to break this cycle of comparaison

I am almost 21 years old so i am in my college years. I came from a really strict and abusive household. I couldn't go out with my friends back in highschool days (parents still won't let me go out unless they allow me), therefore nobody wanted to hang out with me or give me any attention, therefore rbit wahed big insecurity about my appearance and social skills.

Now in college, I always see those cool and popular boys and girls who hang out and do so much cool stuffs like hiking, singing and dancing in a café, doing trips and late nights beach parties, dating, renting a car and traveling to another city ytsaraw fiha, watching sunrise and sunsets. enjoying their time to the fullest and also studying.

I always see their highlights in instagram and i keep wishing to just live this kind of life they have. Everytime i try to imagine me doing cool stuffs or hang out with cool people, i keep saying to myself "why would they hang out with me, with my appearance and my abusive household background, I am just a misfortune, natural selection"

I feel like it's already too late for me. I am almost 21 so i can't live my teenage years the way i wanted, also i am already an adult with adults so i can't like do teenage stuffs (ghanban mchda9 and brhoch). Like I can't do teenage stuffs when i am 30, it sounds so fucking pathetic

Tfo i wish i was a better person. It is a rant ktar mn seeking advice but anyway