Super confused, wondering when I’ll finally know who I am

Hi :)

I’m 21 female (she/her). I’m so confused!! As a teen I thought I had it all figured out and I thought the years of not understanding myself were over, I came out as lesbian and really thought I knew who I was. Then I met a man who confused everything and three years later we’re living together.

I’m starting to really worry that something is just wrong with me, I don’t enjoy sex at all. I find him attractive obviously and I love him so much, but I can’t get into anything like that. I thought maybe I was asexual but i definitely do feel that way about women, so I’m just all muddled. Any advice would be great thanks