(17f) i'm tired of my friends assuming that I hate them because I gave them late replies, when im close to ending my life

I already felt extremely lonely and suicidal but the fact that they're pressuring me for giving them late replies is really starting to get to me. I'm trying my best to keep everything together but when I'm not right in the head to hold onto everything, something eventually slips from my grip. I don't even feel like getting out of bed most days, let alone talk to people. I don't even talk to my parents anymore. And them getting absolutely angry and starting arguments with me because of my lack of commitment in the friendship is honestly so draining. I wish at least ONE friend had asked me if I was okay or why I have been replying late because of how inactive I have been. But no, they're jumping to the worst conclusions and then leaving me. I feel horrible watching them leave, but who am I kidding? I'm literally losing myself and struggling to stay, what made me think I can make someone stay? It's ridiculous, really. All I could do was just watch them leave and feel even worse about myself, thinking of what I could've done to be a better friend, knowing I'm never capable of being one because of my mental condition.