Seeking Advice: A system that wants to be more individualistic

Hello all,

Here's some background for context: We're a system that's been in and out of denial for a little over 10 years now. Currently we're in a period where we aren't in denial. We don't experience amnesia as a system and struggle with having individual identites. We experience a *lot* of dissociation as a system.

Last time we went into denial it lasted for a bit over a year. It was a result of one member of our system pushing really hard to try and get names and identities for the people in our system. They front a lot and are very present in our system and they get very uncomfortable with things being muddy or unclear in our mind. We went back to not believing we're a system because the constant pushing for a clearer idea of who's in our head was stressing us out so we denied that we were plural all together to avoid the identity crisis.

Whenever we do accept that we're plural there's a lot of stress because of this one member who gets really anxious and panicked about not understanding our system really well. We feel plural but like one amorphous blob full of different people that feel distinct but none of which have their own identities.

I'm asking for advice on how to get a bit of a clearer picture of who's in the system to help with that but also for any advice on how to help with that anxiety. Our system struggles with identity for anyone who isn't a fictive. We struggle to get a clear image in our head of anyone who doesn't already have some kind of "base" to go off of. We aren't a fictive heavy system either. Currently we have one fictive and the rest of us don't really have strong senses of identity but we do feel distinct from each other.

Overall we'd like to have a clearer image of our system. No one is against that goal, we just struggle with it a lot. More than once we've gone into a period denying we're a system because we get confused and frustrated with not understanding our system very well.