I feel like I have to die, but I guess I have to go while trembling in pure fear.

I feel like there is no answer and I have no choice but to die, but I am so terrified of the afterlife or hell. Because I’ve committed so many sins, I probably won't go to a good place... but even so, keeping things as they are makes me a burden to my family, so I feel like I have to leave. It’s driving me crazy.