i feel lost

i feel like my life has changed forever and i want to yell it from a rooftop to explain to everyone i promise i’ll be happy and funny and a good time to be around again soon smth rlly bad js happened to me but i cant. i cant do anything i cant even say out loud i was raped i just cant. to every person ive talked to i have never uttered those words. i js stay silent and i wish i could use my voice but its lost and i feel like with that i lost myself