I'm not supporting my friend when she's in a sexually abusive relationship and I'm not guilty.

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This is insanely long but bear with me.

Just for context, I (17F) started 11th grade last September at a new school where I barely knew anyone, but I adjusted quickly and made friends. Early on, I developed a crush on a classmate I'll call Jared (18M). We became closer during our November exams because we were seated together, and my feelings grew.

I told some of my friends about my crush, including Jenny (18F), who was also friends with Jared. Despite me repeatedly telling her not to, she texted Jared directly asking if he liked me and then shared the screenshots in a group chat full of 18 people. Jared rejected me, apologized to me privately, and things became awkward between us. I chose to give Jenny the benefit of the doubt instead of confronting her.

By January, Jenny and I had become much closer friends, and she and Jared had become best friends. A larger friend group formed, and they constantly flirted with each other. I thought I was over Jared, so it didn't bother me much.

In February, Jared confessed to me that he liked Jenny, and I became the person he constantly vented to about his feelings for her. Then in March, Jenny admitted she liked Jared too. Around that time, I learned from other friends that when I had liked Jared back in November, he had shown our private chats to his friends, mocked me, and even said "ew" when someone suggested he date me. I also found out he had lied about his dating history, cheated on previous partners, and had a reputation for manipulative behavior. After learning all this, I ended my friendship with him.

Since Jenny was considering a relationship with Jared, by then they had confessed to each other but Jenny had told me she'd ask for time before dating, I felt she deserved to know the truth about him. She was shocked, admitted he had already been making her uncomfortable by saying things like asking if he could call her mother "Mom" and talking about marriage very early on, and her mental health declined. I spent a lot of time supporting her as she struggled with her feelings. She repeatedly told me she felt uncomfortable around him and even asked me to keep her occupied at school so he couldn't approach her.

Eventually, I found out she had actually been dating Jared ever since the night he confessed to her. She had lied to me the entire time, pretending she was still deciding while I was emotionally supporting her through problems she was choosing to stay in. After that, I decided to distance myself from both her and their relationship. Although she continued venting to me about Jared's controlling behavior, such as telling her what she could wear, I stopped giving advice because it was clear she intended to stay with him.

More recently, I discovered that Jenny had liked Jared since October, before I ever confessed my feelings, and that she had intentionally sabotaged my chances with him back in November by messaging him despite knowing I didn't want her to. At that point, I realized her actions had been deliberate rather than well-intentioned. I didn't care about losing my chance with Jared anymore, but I firmly decided to cut Jenny out of my life as well.

Then the worst possible thing happened.

\[TW: SA from this point\]

He SA-ed her. She was absolutely devastated and so traumatised, and despite my personal feelings towards her, I cannot turn a blind eye to this. She asked me to keep it a secret so that's why I didn't take any action, but if I could, I would fucking cut his dick off and expose to everyone to what he really is. Anyways, the next day, he apologised to her and she came on to me telling me how she felt like his apologies were genuine, and I just sorta... Lost it. I told her that if she decided to get back together with a potential grapist, she had absolute free will to, but that to never talk with me again if my words are so valueless to her. Then I told her that I knew she'd liked him since October and that she intentionally sabotaged my chances with him, and I thanked her for that.

The next day, she deactivated her insta, and texted me via WhatsApp, I could tell she wasn't okay, then I called her and she was crying. Despite the fact that she was a shitty fucking friend, I'm not about to be harsh with a girl traumatized over SA. So I comforted her and told her she still had my support. But then, she's talking to him again, they're dating again, and as per my promise I kept my distance and chose not to interact with them anymore.

But now, he did something horrible to her again, she came crying to me, I told her I'm not gonna involve myself in her issues anymore and she told me that I was overreacting and being a selfish heartless asshole who let my pride get in the way of helping a friend who's in an abusive scenario, and while i dont think putting my boundaries up is a selfish thing to do, but I do feel guilty seeing her be in a relationship with him and potentially doing nothing, but then again, what can I do? My personal boundaries have just been violated so much and I can't bring myself to do anything about it