Focusing only on my boyfriend and his needs during sex.

My boyfriend (24m) and I (23m) have been together for five months, we became official a month after dating. We've been pretty inseparable, we spend all our time together... I've been having a rough last two months which I know is effecting the relationship and I'm trying to figure it out while still keeping him happy.

He is my first real boyfriend and has taught me a lot of things, he's the only person I've felt safe to explore some sexual things with. However, last two months there was a problem with him constantly watching porn of other girls and taking about threesomes (which I didn't mind at first and was into until he just straight up talked about fucking other girls in front of me). We used to have sex semi regularly, with him focusing on me but now I'm the only one pleasing him. I want to do whatever I can to make my boyfriend happy but this is really hurting me.

He says I'm the only one who can make him cum the way he does, that he's satisfied with me sexually but I just feel like he's completely lost attraction to me. He also has OCD and has a big thing about penetration which I didn't mind, it took like two months for us to really break that through but since the porn stuff he just talks about fucking other girls (he said once about fucking without a condom which he wouldnt do with me even though I'm on birth control because of his OCD and admittedly I told him to his face I was not okay with that). Now move forward to two weeks later, my life gets harder and while I really like being with him this is just something fucking with my head and self esteem. Now I'm just constantly giving him oral and pegging while he's looking at porn of other girls sometimes.

This morning he wanted me to give him oral and I went along to keep him happy. He promised to return the favour but went back on it because he was stressed with family/OCD stuff. Then he said he didnt mean to blueball me and I just didn't want to make him feel bad bc I'd never want to do that if someone changed their mind last minute. But the blueball comment bothered me even worse like I'm not good/desirable enough and I don't know what to say without being insecure. I'm just hurt I don't know how to communicate it to him without seriouy changing things

TL;DR my boyfriend is focused more on his fantasies than me and has completely stopped focusing on me which has made me hate myself.