23, still living in the house that never got better

​

We've been in Pune for over 20 years. My parents never bought a house, never invested in anything because my father, being the eldest in the family, spent decades sending money back to our home village for his two younger siblings. Their kids grew up in English-medium schools in a tier-3 city. Me and my brother grew up in a government school in Pune. Both his siblings now own their own homes. We still don't.

My father has been an alcoholic since he was young. My mother has serious anger issues. So growing up, there was no peace at home there was a fight almost every single day, and alcohol was always the reason. We saw things no kid should have to see.

Nothing has changed. I'm 23 now, a graduate, looking for a job after leaving my first one a year in because it wasn't going anywhere still haven't landed the next one, but I'm sorted on what I want and don't want anymore. My brother's finishing his final year of college. My father still drives an auto-rickshaw and works security shifts. My mother works too. And he's still drinking, still doesn't remember anything the next morning, still doesn't care what it does to us.

Some nights me and my brother end up tracking his phone location just to go find him and bring him home because he's passed out somewhere from drinking. He has no idea what that does to us. None.

Honestly, there have been moments I've wished he would just die. He doesn't. And I still have to live under the same roof as him, every single day, with no way out yet.

I don't really know what I'm asking for by posting this. Maybe just needed to say it somewhere.