Trigger warning or smth , idk

All I want to do in life is to just fucking die. That will be my biggest fucking accomplishment. I will never be happy again. I want to ruin my life, I got this narrative which is a different reality in my head, I can’t survive anymore, I can’t change it. All of this bc I was born. Get me out of everything. I am so impulsive I am making all the bad decisions. I pushed everyone away that could have helped me, i hurt them too, I hate myself. Why do these bitches breed ? FUCK EVERYTHING. I just want to die and I am still too scared. I can’t do this shit anymore.