I've loved the same man for over 20 years and have never told him.

Hello Reddit:

I've never posted here before but I really need advice, or encouragement, or something - anything at this point.

I (39F) am deeply in love with an awesome man (63). When I was a young teenager I fell in love with a friend of the family. I wouldn't be surprised if he still barely knows that I exist, as I have always admired him from afar. I have followed his career and what I could find out about his personal life all these years out of curiosity, so I know he's not married. The last time I saw him was about 4 years ago. He was going through a difficult time and there was no appropriate opportunity to even begin to tell him how I feel.

I'm turning 40 in August and for my birthday I'm going to an event that I know he will also be at. Now could be the perfect time to finally tell him how I feel, but I'm terrified to. Even telling him just that very first thing - that I've loved him for so long - seems daunting. I don't know what to do or to think. I've over-thought this so much for so long. Sometimes I think - why not? We do seem to have a lot in common and a very similar sense of humor. Even if I'm not his type physically, or he's just not that into me, I would love a friendship with him. I adore the way he laughs and the stories he tells, and I admire him as a man and as a human being. Truly I would do anything for him. Then, in other moments, I think there's no way he'd want me. He has far more money than me and is still absolutely gorgeous. Plus, I'm very sure he has enough friends, and maybe it's weird at our age to try to become new friends? Or not. Idk.

I know it's very possible that I have built up an idealized version of this man in my head over all these years, but when I think about living the rest of my life without him ever knowing that I love him like I have never loved another, it makes me feel so empty. I know I will regret not telling him more than I would regret any less than stellar outcome. I'm also aware that because he makes me feel like I'm still a young woman, dreaming about what it must be like to kiss him, it's entirely possible that I will stumble over my words or embarrass myself before I can even get any words out at all. Communicating my love to this man must be doable. Does anyone have anything that might help?