The irony of being irritated when others with AuDHD are messy, late or talk too much…

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and wondering if anyone else can relate.

Why do I get so irritated when other people do the exact same things I do? Surely I should have more compassion and understanding?

My bedroom is currently a mess (well... it always has a floordrobe 😂), but if my partner leaves a towel on the floor, my brain is ready to combust.

If people interrupt me... more internal explosions.

I also get irritated when people info dump. I catch myself thinking, "How are they not self-aware that they've been talking for ages?" Meanwhile, I have absolutely no doubt that other people have thought exactly the same thing while I've been enthusiastically rabbiting on about psychology, hormones, or inequality. 😅

I feel guilty about this because I genuinely understand that these are often executive function or neurodivergent traits. So why is my emotional reaction so different from my rational understanding?

I’m lucky to have fabulous ND people in my life and wouldn’t change our 10 million tangents, lightening speed, oversharing chats for anything.

But is the frustration because I've spent 47 years masking and trying so hard to manage these things myself? Is it internalised shame? Am I expecting other neurodivergent people to conform because I've always felt I had to?

Or is this actually a common AuDHD experience?

I'd really love to hear if anyone else feels this contradiction.