ADHD Partner

Working moms with a male partner who has ADHD (medicated or unmedicated), have you successfully found a way to split up labor for the kids and the house without having to constantly remind your spouse what to do?

My husband is okay with our daughter but I constantly have to ask or remind him to do things. He also doesn’t take initiative to play with her and does a lot of phone scrolling right in front of her. I’m starting to reach a point of mental burn out as I feel I’m our house manager and primary parent. He definitely isn’t as bad as some husband posts I’ve seen and I think if I made a list to assign him chores with specific dates? He could probably stick to it without much prompting. But my fear of doing that is he will refuse to do anything outside of his list (he’s made this argument before).

Have you found motivational tactics or schedules that help you feel less like a manager and more like a partner?