I’ve relapsed 3x

I remember being obese when I was younger and deeply wanting to lose weight n thought I’d b able 2 just not eat n when I lost the weight I’d start eating regularly but I was wrong. I’ve lost and then gained for fun just cuz I wanted too do it again which I’m currently in. It’s messed my digestion up 2 the point I can’t even eat everyday when I’m not trying to fast, I can only eat when m high and I’ve been trying 2 stay like that but I eat a lot so when I fast it cancels but I lose more then gain. I’m scared that this will be the cycle for the rest of my life, fitness is one of my passions n I can’t work out from how dizzy and weak I get when I extern any for of movement. I don’t want too stop till I don’t when yet I know I will need to fix it in the future. I just needed to get this off my chest