Idk what to do my mom is getting rid of my cats

I’m 18 and my mom changed the last 2 years and is abusive to us emotionally and sometimes to my dad physically I became Catholic a few months ago and I’ve been trying to forgive my mom it’s so hard

Shes threatened me for ages getting rid of my cats cause she knows it will hurt me and now I’m heading to Germany for a month for family and she texted me saying their going about 60 times and not listening to me just being cruel as usual

said I’ve been a cruel cow for years and a dope and that when she tried to tell me she was >!||r*ped||!< and I said “I’m sorry but I can’t deal with this” because I had my own mental struggles and was 14 the first time she was telling me she’s saying I’m awful and bad and I should’ve supported her and I was trying to say please talk to a therapist as I’ve said for months but no

I’m pretty sure she was drunk texting as always and it just kills me cause she won’t listen I don’t know what to do this is going to kill me she has been so cruel to me the past few years and I’ve tried but I don’t know I just don’t I feel empty and I had mass today and felt so happy and peaceful after ward but then on the bus him she started texting and now I just don’t feel god moments like these make me doubt

idk what to do I’m angry I’m heartbroken and I’m tired I feel completely powerless and hurt