Relapsed after 3 weeks

I don't have anywhere else to vent so here I am.

3 weeks. The longest I have gone without drinking in the last 10 years. But I failed again, why can't I stop constantly thinking about getting drunk? Am I really that far gone that I can't beat this? I promised myself and my family I would quit for good after I spent years hurting them. But it's so god damn hard. Every single night is a battle against my own mind telling me I'm bored so it's time to drink again. Every night is a battle to try distract myself from that voice inside telling me I need alcohol.