Vent: Frustrated with misapprehensions about demisexuality and the gatekeeping that comes with it. Many people seem to think demisexuality more narrowly means that you must be in love with someone to feel sexual attraction rather than what it is: rare or absent experience of primary attraction.

I most often encounter ignorance on this topic regarding demisexuals having crushes on fictional characters. Most recently I made an offhanded comment about Geralt of Rivia being particularly attractive in the Netflix series in the scene where he’s in the bath. (And to be clear, if I just saw Henry Cavill out of character or any other random dude in the bath, I wouldn’t find it attractive. It’s Geralt specifically).

Someone took it upon themselves to condescendingly inform me that this meant I wasn’t “demisexual.” They put it in quotation marks. From my time on this subreddit, it’s very clear that attraction to fictional characters you are invested in does not mean you can’t be demisexual. In fact, it seems common.

It just really grinds my gears that some people are so quick to gatekeep things that they barely know anything about. I have also experienced similar things relating to having OCD. “Oh your home is cluttered? You don’t have OCD.” Just such confident ignorance.