6/5/26: Falling in love with someone twice my age

Okay— maybe not love. But it’s on that trajectory. Even though I’m crazy about this man, I will not use the word love until I truly know him more. We’ve only known each other IRL for not even a week yet.

But it’s been a hell of a magical week. I definitely LIKE him. I definitely have a huge crush. In the past 6 months of being polyamorous, I haven’t had a crush on anyone like this yet.

I feel like I know him so intimately because we are so similar. I finish his thoughts, I agree with him on most everything. It’s too good to be true. We keep asking eachother— “what’s the catch?” Because we are both astounded with how suspiciously perfect the other is for us.

I did get frustrated with him last night, because he said we could watch fireworks at his place when he gets back from his parents place, and that he’d text me to let me know when. I assumed it’s be around 9 or 10, but I didn’t get a text back until 11:30. I was a bit frustrated, and I cried a whole lot. He apologized and felt really bad though.

I ended up going over from 12-3 AM. I showed him the Japanese iron chef, and we both had a lot of fun watching it together. He caressed me while we watched tv and before long he was fingering me for quite a while. I was like putty in his hands. He mentioned that he might be becoming addicted to me, because he can’t stop thinking about me and wants me over all the time. That’s exactly how I feel about him. I just want to be curled up against him all the time.

I’m excited for Monday. I think we both need some time to rest up and some space to grow that longing for each others bodies again. I’m staying the night. I told him I wanted to bring gummies and my salivating mints and see how long I could go without taking my mouth off of his cock.

He’s so hot, and he’s so caring and kind, and that makes it so much hotter for me. I can see what I do to him when I look at him in the eyes all longingly. I love his grey hair, his aging body. I love his smile and laugh. I love his hands. I love the way they make me feel. He compliments me all the time, and makes me feel so desired and appreciated.

I also love his dog!!!!! Which is WILD. I’m not a dog person. I’ve never liked a dog as much as I do his dog. She’s perfect. She slept soundly at my feet the whole night when I stayed over the other day. She’s soft and cuddly and not loud or slobbery or smelly.

As I fall more and more for S, Q drifts further and further from my mind. Honestly, if S and I start seeing each other once or twice a week regularly, I might not need anyone else. I might be polysaturated. I am slightly upset with Q though. He convinces me to go out to see him and get drinks, and suck his cock in a parking garage, and then doesn’t text for two weeks, and who knows how much longer. Whatever. I know he’s busy, but like, still. Not even a quick text. I don’t matter to him, but I matter to S.

Anyways, gotta get through the rest of the day now. Ttyl.