Do I have to accept that friendship will always come second to relationship?

26F - I’m feeling really lonely and really feeling the lack of intimacy and it’s not because of not sleeping with anyone or poor dates necessarily. It’s being single and all my friends being in relationships - I’m starting this saying I’m so happy for all of my friends to be loved. I am the first person to ask about dates, to try and make conversation with partners but our friendship group has just been decimated.

We used to actually spend time together and now everyone except maybe one friend brings their partner to every gathering - film night, pub crawl, birthdays, raves, Halloween, friends Christmas, weekends away. Its never a conversation and it’s 99% time we hang out together so they not only have couple time - they have couple and friend time like they can’t have just friend time. I understand your bf/gf being there for birthdays but you never asked about them coming to our traditions and our plans we make together. And now they’re making couple date and couple holiday plans in front of me on our girls trip in which none of them have asked about my career or my love life or made plans with me - and I try to make plans all the time.

And one of boyfriends of what was my former best friend just doesn’t try to make conversation - the reason he is around so much is because he has no friends and therefore she is his entire emotional support system. the thing is we live in different parts of the same city - I don’t expect to see her that much but when my grandma died she told me she couldn’t spare one night on the weekend because both weekends she was spending with him. She literally said can we do a day during the week because I’m having dinner with parents and then gardening. And I spoke to her about it and she said I should’ve said I needed to see her like flagging it was an emergency and I told her I shouldn’t have to tell you when my grandma dies that its an emergency.

Anyway all of this is to say - is this it? Are female friendships dead after your mid 20s? And how do you deal with resentment - I love them but if one of them got broken up with right now I would not be able to show up because I genuinely don’t believe they deserve it? Like I‘ve been in relationships and still make time for my closest friends but am I just placeholder until they get into a relationship?