Okay so I live quite far from my entire family. This year, I decided to fly in for the Fourth (a holiday I never travel for and therefore have my own beloved traditions for) to join in on the larger gathering. A week ago, my sister called and told me her husband asked the 19 year old babysitter for nudes. At the time, she kicked him out and said he would not be attending. Then on Monday he was back and it was ‘I can’t explain this to my toddler, he misses his dad’ and ‘I will make a decision about this weekend later’.      

  
I told her no one wants to see him, and that I don’t know why he would subject everyone (including himself) to that and she got defensive, telling me I needed to respect her choices. Which…yes but it’s been a week babygirl, if you didn’t want people to have feelings or opinions maybe don’t tell us he tried to take advantage of a young woman you opened your home to???     

  
so I fly 1,500 miles. I drive for hours, arriving late. I lay my head down and I hear snoring. This motherfucker is sleeping right next door I know it. Sure enough, the bastard is in our kitchen the next morning. My family is awkwardly engaging, one pair without issue because they had a similar situation and can’t bring themselves to cast stones in glass houses (which, why?? if you know by experience it was wrong, you should be extra steel spined about it).      

  
he tried to ask me how im doing and I brushed him off; why are you even talking to me? you should know better. Late last night it was clear the cold shoulder was not going down. He took the time to apologize to me and a sibling. When I tried to broach it he said ‘We don’t have to get all into it \_\_\_ but I am sorry’ okay so then you don’t actually want to take ownership? 

Then he said ‘it was a momentary lapse’ when I KNOW FOR A FACT there was a previous Snapchat exchange precluding the Incident. More lies. I told him not to fuck up and make a fool of her again and he said ‘i wouldnt, i love her too much’. You JUST DID THO? And then had the audacity to ask about my own wellbeing as I’ve just broken up with a very good man (nothing happened. just differences) as if in an attempt to create rapport. Put your tools away, this is a bridge to nowhere. Every time he laughed my mood would sour. Every time he gave guff about handling his own kids or made a badly formatted joke or belched loudly like a disgusting pig I wanted to puke.    
  
My sister can do whatever she pleases, and if it pleases her to keep her wishbone where her spine should be thats her choice, but I still have my own feelings to contend with and nowhere to place them so i just wandered around reading a shit YA novel on my kindle doing my level best not to interact with him. I don’t respect these fuckass men and I clearly don’t believe in the “getting along to get along” ethos my family is steeped in because I don’t understand why he was allowed to come, at least just for this weekend?? I guess I’m just some interloper who doesn’t understand that relationships require sacrificing self respect and security for the sake of keeping what’s familiar. And I missed my friend gathering for this?? I’m just so pissed. That’s 2/3 of my BIL outed as wayward creeps. Why are we chasing nudes from people your wives know anyways fellas?? Go on fucking twitter.      

road trip snacks and a honey vanilla latte. 

I should’ve just stayed home