Looking for perspectives-feeling lost

I have been married for several years and I am struggling. I am currently working with a therapist but wanted to hear from others who may have been through something similar.
My husband controls all of our finances. I am given a grocery budget and need to ask permission for any other purchases while he makes purchases freely without telling me. Recently he has also been monitoring my location and questions where I am going regularly.
Some of the things he has said to me have been deeply hurtful. During a therapy session he told me my feelings were valid but that I have a spirit of delusion. He has told me he does not know if I am going to heaven or hell. He questioned whether my heart posture comes from ignorance or a desire to weaponize him. He has asked me why I am even a Christian.
At home he speaks to me and our children in a harsh tone. He treats me warmly in public but very differently behind closed doors.
After I gave birth to twins and was still in the hospital — hungry — he finished his own meal before getting me food. Our first night home from the hospital the twins and I slept on the couch while he slept in the bed.
He has not slept in our bed in the past 2-3 years even after me expressing that I would like for him to.
I feel disconnected, unseen, and honestly lost.
I am working through this with a therapist. I am not here for anyone to make decisions for me. I just want to hear from people who may have experienced similar things.
Has anyone been through something like this? How did you navigate it?