Hello Fellow hunters!  
Man what a ride of emotions! Where do I even start?

I feel so many things and my brain is scambled, I’m amazed, happy, confused?, a bit grieving, starstruck, anxious…

I have been watching the show my whole life, I do not remember a moment where dean and sam were not in my life, first DVD was bought to me by my dad when I was 7 YO (2006) because no cartoon or show grabbed my attention ( I was an autistic child and later diagnosed with ADHD)

I later lost my dad at 8-9 years old, had to be the mother and father for my little brother because my mom worked her ass off (sound familiar ?) and had a very rough life up until 21yo when I finally moved out.

In this photo op I walked in and I see Jensen and I had a tunnel vision, with intense derealization, both images of dean and Jensen came crashing at once and I couldn’t think of anything or hear anything besides HIM (for about 30 full seconds) all I could see was him, my ears were like I was in space witt no sound around me. then the staff member voice hit my brain “ma’am hey look at me, he’s human just like us okey?”, then she took my phone and I didn’t wanna give up my phone and she said : You want me to show it to him right? I just nodded and gave the phone.  
So I walk to Jensen and said Hey im back! And he smiled at me, (im sure the dean in him was like “great! This one talks 🙄“ ahhaha) he got into the pose and asked me “Like this?”, I said yeah and did the rock on face. Then I said thank you while looking at his eyes because (my brain doing that ADHD thing to make sure he’s safe and real)

I feel like at this second photo op that dean image cracked a little, I’m so scared to put on the show now.. I don’t know if im still gonna see dean as this full other fictional human who exists in his own world or not.. I’m afraid that now I connect his gesture or anger or sadness to what I saw in Jensen..

For those who did a convention before, does it get better ?

Lets talk about post-con feels