Am I missing something?

I thought i would post here to see if I am missing something or others feel this way. Im a huge fan of Hollow Knight (112%'d it three times for good measure) and was waiting on silksong as I had other games I wanted to play and wanted to let the early patches/updates come out first. Recently I replayed HK to get back into shape to finally play silksong, and I can not get into it at all.

Its like the game was built to make players angry, with wild design choices I can't seem to grasp. So many benches are traps or have weird platforming trials to unlock, which doesn't make sense when those are meant to be your source of safety. Then you have the pay-per-use benches which are just annoying for no reason. It just feels like the goal is to annoy the player rather than be fun.

The difficulty is fine for me, its all the annoying things around it. I love using the tools, they feel so fluid and varied, but when I am banging my head into a boss and using the tools, if I get stuck for a bit I need to leave to farm Shard just to keep playing the game. Once again, annoying for the sake of it rather than being fun. Why couldn't the tools be limited ammo, but recharged at each bench for free? Why should I have to grind for items to let me use the tools the game wants me to use?

Am I missing something? Did I approach the game in the wrong way, or should I be under some different mindset? I cant wrap my head around the frustrating design choices and it is ruining a game I have been hyping myself up for since it got announced. Any advice or help would be welcome 😁