I need help

I don’t know what I’m feeling. I spoke to him after NC 2 months and I feel horrible? Numb? Extreme sadness? He told me everything he did wrong he took accountability realized the places he lack as a partner and why I ended it in Jan. He said that I was very special person in his life and he wouldn’t trade meeting me that he learn a lot from this relationship and he’s grateful for that. But now I’m here feeling like someone that was use to his expense and I want to be with this new person but he doesn’t want me and I don’t know what to do or feel? That’s all I wanted all I wanted in the relationship because I did love him and I still do but he obviously moved on and he’s taking this and giving it to the next girl he’s with. The last thing he said was don’t think about the person I could’ve been think about the person I was with you but I saw the good that’s why I held it and I’m still holding on