Idk how to stop getting in the same loop again.

I can’t seem to respect myself. Like its is negative atm. Its as if there are 2 people living inside me. Im very self aware and ig that makes the whole situation worse cuz ik how fucked up it is. I loose myself when i like someone. I become so attached, nd its always to a person who isn’t right for me. The first time was the worst. The guy who helped me get out of it, smh became the second lesson. The third guy who helped me get out of it became the third lesson (😭) i feel like im the problem. It wasn’t even one sided, they were pretty much involved but things just fizzle out nd i end up being in the same state. They dont seem to care and i keep cursing myself. Im so tired. Its no one else’s fault but mine. I feel like once u start being there for a person, specially when u both are in late teens and early twenties, due to immaturity and probably lack of brain cells, we think they are too clingy and push em away only to crave for the same thing in 3-4 yrs. Getting attached to a person who doesn’t feel the same is bad, v bad. Nd lemme tell u even after 3 times (😭) it hurts the same. Like i said im my own enemy, cuz knowing everything i keep doing the same thing. To top it all, all of em hv really said bad things to me, things idts i deserved cuz all i did was be there for them. I just feel sad. Hurt. Nd idk how to be myself again. How do i stop myself from ruining my own life.