i could b bleeding out, but u would never know bc im blocked

hey m,

i’m so f ing sad rn.
i wish i died for you
i wish i could’ve taken a bullet
it would be easier to be dead knowing we loved each other and would’ve done anything for each other
then to be alive rn
knowing ur to far gone to reach u
knowing there’s nothing i can do for u anymore
knowing tht even if i took a bullet for u now it wouldn’t mean the same thing as if i had taken a bullet for u when u were so in love with me
i can’t prove myself or anything to u anymore

i love you and i didn’t mean to make u feel like u couldn’t be yourself and im sorry for acting like a wife im a nurse so i wanna take care of you more than anything but i get if it’s to much.

i dream ab u all the time and im scared to sleep bc its like u die every single morning. my heart can’t take it, how can urs? i drove past ur car parked at work bc i was in the area last night to make sure tht u still existed and u were real.

i can’t say i fully understand but to an extent i do understand the love jesus had. u could hurt me burn me kill me and atp i would still do anything to get us to work out or to see u or even talk to u again- like an actual normal conversation. forget everyone else idc ab being treated better or good at all anymore bc my love for u extends past ur mood swings hate, abusive words or anger. there r rly amazing parts ab u too and i miss ur pretty pretty pretty eyes.

u would never take me back atp but know i would over and over and over again. i still choose u. how can i love u sm and u can barely text talk or look at me?

love,
todd malcolm’s biggest fan (not rly) but u know what i mean