No one in my life respects me emotionally

I (f27) feel like I’m losing my mind because my family acts like I’m the selfish one, but I genuinely don’t think they respect me as a person.
A little background: I lived in South Korea for years and honestly didn’t even want to move back home because I knew exactly what living with my family would be like. Unfortunately, I had to come back, and now I’m a single mom living with my parents while I get back on my feet.
This isn’t coming out of nowhere.
When I was eight months pregnant, my mom insisted on throwing me a baby shower that I never wanted in the first place. She invited relatives we never see and even brought along a man I had never met. At the time, I was sleeping in one of our living rooms with no door. As someone who has been sexually assaulted, I asked if they could stay in the in-law suite instead because I was uncomfortable having a strange man sleeping in the same open area as me.
Instead of understanding, my mom screamed at me in the kitchen while I was eight months pregnant, calling me ungrateful and saying I expect everyone to do everything for me. My dad stood there, watched it happen, and walked away without saying a word. She has never apologized.
Fast forward to now. My grandfather is very sick and probably doesn’t have much time left. Here’s the problem: I’ve probably seen my dad’s parents fewer than ten times in my entire life. I’m 27 years old and barely know anything about them besides their names. We simply don’t have a relationship.
Now everyone expects me to spend my weekend driving two and a half hours to Queens with my daughter so they can see her. My grandfather reportedly doesn’t even remember people anymore. I’m trying to understand what the purpose of dragging a toddler that far is, especially when she doesn’t even warm up to strangers.
The pressure isn’t really about my grandfather. It feels like it’s about appearances.
I’ve already told my parents multiple times that I don’t want to go. Every time I say no, they bring it up again. Now they’re suddenly being extra nice to me because they think it’ll convince me. It honestly feels fake.
I’m already overwhelmed. I’m raising my daughter, trying to rebuild my life, dealing with anxiety, and I barely have time to breathe. The last thing I want is to spend an entire weekend in a car with family members who make me feel worse.
I also know exactly how the visit would go. My grandmother has a history of criticizing me, and nobody in my family ever stands up for me. My dad certainly never has. So why would I voluntarily put myself into that situation?
A month ago, I finally had a conversation with my grandmother because she constantly calls me. I explained that I don’t have time to talk on the phone all the time because I’m a single mom and overwhelmed. Every time we talk, she complains that I don’t call enough. I told her she could text me if she wanted to talk because she’s perfectly capable of texting.
Her response?
“That’s not the Nigerian way. Nigerian grandparents don’t text.”
I told her, “Okay, then you won’t be hearing from me.”
She hung up on me.
When I told my parents what happened, they immediately said, “She called and apologized.”
To who? Because it wasn’t to me.
This is how everything goes. My feelings are never actually addressed.
My parents also constantly remind me about the help they give me. They’ll watch my daughter for a few hours sometimes, but it always comes back later as, “After everything we’ve done for you…”
That’s exactly why I hate asking them for help. Nothing is ever freely given. Everything becomes leverage.
I’ve offered to pay rent. I’ve offered to contribute financially. I don’t expect anyone to do everything for me. But they refuse because it’s more useful to be able to say they do so much for me whenever I don’t do what they want.
It’s exhausting.
Even small things become stressful. I recently went to a lake with my mom, my sister, and my daughter. My mom invited one of her friends without telling me. The first thing this woman asked me was, “Where’s your baby’s dad?”
Why is that anyone’s business?
I constantly feel like people don’t respect me, my privacy, or my boundaries.
Now everyone thinks they’re entitled to a relationship with my daughter simply because they’re related to her. I genuinely don’t understand why. If we don’t have a relationship, and you don’t treat me with kindness or respect, why would you assume you’re automatically entitled to access to my child?
I know if I don’t go visit my grandfather, my parents are going to guilt me endlessly. They’ll probably hold childcare over my head. They’ll call me selfish. They’ll stonewall me. They’ll make my life harder because that’s how conflict has always been handled in my family.
That’s honestly what scares me the most.
I’m not saying it’s not sad that my grandfather is dying. It is sad. But I barely know him. I don’t have the emotional connection everyone else seems to think I should have, and I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to pretend otherwise.
At this point, I don’t even know if I’m asking for advice. I think I’m just exhausted from always being expected to put everyone else’s feelings ahead of my own while mine are ignored.