I feel like I have too many flaws for anyone to stay with me

As the title says, I feel like I have too many flaws to ever be truly happy or have someone stay with me.

The painful part is that people have fallen in love with me. My relationships didn't end because there wasn't love they ended because of the problems my mental and physical health brought into the relationship. I've struggled with my mental health since I was a child. I have severe anxiety, and it's honestly ruined so much of my life. I can't use public transportation because it triggers panic attacks, so I've lost the ability to travel independently. I'm also more dependent on other people than I'd like to be.I've been working hard on changing that. I can now go to doctors in my town by myself and speak for myself instead of needing someone else to do it. That may sound like the bare minimum to most people, but for me it took years of work. The problem is that if I need to go somewhere farther away, I still need help. Thankfully my parents are supportive.That's only one issue, though. I'm also very sensitive. I cry over small things, get hurt easily, and I tend to rely on my partner for emotional comfort and regulation. I live in the middle of nowhere, so every relationship ends up being long distance.

On top of that, I have health issues involving my nervous system that leave me in pain or discomfort most of the time. Because of that, I couldn't keep a full-time job. I still have a part-time job, which pays enough for basics like medication, shampoo, clothes, and other necessities, but it's hard not feeling independent.

I've genuinely tried to become a better partner. During my last relationship I started more therapy, worked on my social skills, learned to make my own appointments, practiced giving both myself and my partner space during arguments, and tried to communicate better. I also tried exposure therapy and several anxiety medications, but unfortunately they either didn't work or my body couldn't tolerate them.

Still, it never felt like enough.

For other people, the things I've achieved are considered the bare minimum. For me, every step has been incredibly difficult. People tell me they love my personality, think I'm kind and funny, call me their dream girl, and even say I'd make a perfect wife... if I didn't have all these problems. They tell me I have so much potential.

I'm tired of people loving my potential more than the person I am right now.Maybe it's selfish to want someone to love me as I am while I continue trying to improve, but I'm exhausted.

My last relationship ended because my ex said we were incompatible. He told me I couldn't take criticism and only wanted things my way. That hurt because I had spent months trying to change, begging him to stay, going to therapy, and working on myself. Every time I fixed one problem, another seemed to replace it.

Near the end, he was under a lot of stress from work, but he started taking that stress out on me. I became confused because I thought things were getting better, yet he started getting upset over tiny things, like me asking where my glasses were.He also began ignoring my boundaries. I had a painful hernia flare-up that week, and he kept tickling me even after I repeatedly told him to stop because it made the pain worse. He did it again the next day until I finally broke down crying and told him, "I don't want to be tickled. I'm in pain. I just want you to hold me."

Instead of comforting me, he just looked annoyed.

Later he admitted he was doing it because he wanted to annoy me into liking him less so he'd have more space for himself.

That really broke something in me.

Now I feel trapped. No matter how hard I work on myself, it never feels like enough. I'm terrified that no one will ever be able to accept everything that comes with me, even though I'm trying every day to become healthier and more independent.

I don't even know what I'm looking for by posting this. I think I just needed to get it off my chest because I'm exhausted and hurting.