20year old loser

Hi I'm 20 years old and I'm suffering with being lonely I don't want to dare to call it depression because I think that would be really insulting to people with depression .I just want to yap about life without order just to get things of my chest because I have none to talk to this about except you ig . Whenever I'm not working I get this wave of sadness lonelyness . I want to be loved I'm 20 and I never had a girlfriend never had a best friend that considers me a best friend also . I think I'm a pretty good dude I think I'm polite and kind and funny but I don't know what's wrong with me why people don't want me I'm stuck at bed crying watching romance series just so I can see what's like to fall in love and be loved I just want people I don't want to be alone anymore I changed so much the past 6 months personality wise and appearance wise I have become a better version of myself but why am I not enough... I know this is rude to say even though I said I was kind but I know people that are not half the man I'm and have a better social life I just want it to be over but I'm too much of a coward to ever do it myself but sometimes I wish I could just die maybe get hit by a truck or even better maybe I stop a terrorist attack and die in the process 😎 but yea I have so much to say but I can't even type it out Imma try to thug it out like I have done in all my life love you everyone here I'm sorry for what you are going through I hope it gets better for you