My dad said “you were so well behaved” because we didn’t argue at a family event yesterday

This is a sort of comment you’d say to a small child; I’m TWENTY FUCKING THREE.

My Ndad and I have never had a rock solid relationship, mainly because we end up arguing whether it’s at home or in a public space. Any conversation can flip into a lecture an argument in a second due to a plethora of things; me saying the wrong thing, not thinking before speaking, or being ever so slightly disobedient. I have undiagnosed ADHD so that comes into play, but then he loses his temper and then I get annoyed and just go silent.

We were at a family event visiting my stepmum’s side of the family for a BBQ. All was fine for 99% of the time but when I sat on a chair funny because one of my legs were playing up, he and my stepmum were quick to scold me; I got embarrassed but didn’t say say anything back because I didn’t want to cause drama. My dad sardonically said “the witching hour’s begun” which is something BABIES do when they cry or get fussy. Funny enough there was a baby there who was crying and had to be put down for a nap.

Once that brief moment passed we were all good. There were a few kids there who were causing light mischief (spraying water guns) and their parents told them off in a lighter manner compared to what I’ve had to endure from my dad when I’ve done the most insignificant things wrong. I once wrote a the letter e backwards when I was about 7 and he screamed at me and shamed me.

In the car on the way home, this is when the “you were so well behaved” comment came out from my dad, with my stepmum in agreement. I just said thanks in a questionable tone and left it there, but in my brain I was thinking…are you serious right now?

It feels infantilising as hell; neither of them have ever treated me like an adult, but then again sometimes I don’t help myself because I can act out and behave silly, but maybe that’s because I was forced to grow up faster as a kid due his narc tendencies and an emotionally neglectful mother (she’s not the narc one luckily and she’s much better now).