Maybe I have seizures?

I am not looking for medical advice. I am just looking for other people who may have similar symptoms and can guide me. For reference I am a 31 year old female. I appreciate anybody taking the time to read my story.

Back story: I had my first seizure when I was 10. It was not convulsive just very stiff and clenched. My mother was a nurse and took me in saying it was a seizure. I was hospitalized and they couldn’t find out why - so they concluded it was because I had the flu and said it was “febrile seizures”.

Forward to age 19:

Developed severe abdominal pain and started feeling very sick. Suddenly became very stiff throughout my body and could not speak or move. My hands and feet were clenched. My stepmom gave me Ativan because it was thought to be a panic attack. Someone present thought I might be having a stroke because I was laying there all clenched and couldn’t talk. Afterward, I developed significant anxiety and was repeatedly told

these episodes were panic attacks. Was then trialed on several ssris and had no luck. Was taking a lot of Ativan during the time for my “panic attacks”.

Had several other episodes that start with pins and needles in my face, leg numbness, feeling like I clench up out of nowhere. These literally have happened since age 19 and come out of nowhere. I am not thinking or in an scary situation. They just happen!

I have noticed when I smoked marijuana I also had a few episodes where I went “frozen” and couldn’t talk or respond. But I could hear everyone. I don’t smoke anymore because of this.

Never had any “panic attacks” for a few years. Then last year I had a weird episode that they deemed vasovagal after a cleared eeg. I started feeling really hot and stomach pain- fell out of my husbands truck into the sand. My kids were yelling at me but I couldn’t talk or move but I could hear them. My husband finally came to me (he was riding his dirtbike) and was yelling at me to get up but I couldn’t. He put me in the truck and brought me to the bathroom and I was exhausted at this time. Had a bowel movement and my husband was throwing water at me because I felt like I was dying of heat. But it was super weird.

Two weeks ago:

around 1 am I woke up with severe abdominal pain, feeling very hot, dizzy. I am normally constipated and I think my magnesium has finally kicked in. But I have never had this before. All of a sudden I lost control of my bowels. Like I didn’t know I was pooping. Then I realized and was like what’s going on? So I ran to the toilet and while on the toilet, I became unable to respond and felt really bad. Mind you I was having diarrhea this whole episode.

According to my husband: I slumped over and I became very white like I was passing out. I was not responding. Then my husband was smacking my face to get me to respond. He pushed my body up trying to get me to speak then my body became

stiff; my head went back; my mouth was open and I was drooling; my eyes were

initially closed, then opened and rolled back; my lips turned blue; and I was like this for a good 45 seconds. I remember hearing parts of my husband talking and

yelling but was unable to respond or move. I felt like I was trapped in my body. Afterward, my husband asked me if I am okay I tell him to call an ambulance (but I am slurring) and initially confused but gradually became able to answer questions. As soon as Ems made it- I was out of it and had got to the couch. I was able to answer my name and questions. Due to not having insurance I did not go in.

My doctor has ordered a mri and waiting for that to send my referral to neurology. He said if it was a true seizure he thinks that I wouldn’t be able to stay on the toilet the whole time. Is this true?

Any insights would be helpful. I am incredibly scared because I have four little boys and very high anxiety over this.