I have a crush on my best friend

I have a crush on my best friend and I don’t know how to deal with it. We met as teens over a game on roblox, we added each other after finding out we were both in highschool and the same age. We are now both adults and there has been ups and downs but we’re closer than we have ever been. We live in different states so idk how to deal with this. I have spent so much time with her, learned so much about her, and there’s been hints. Lately we have gotten so close we fall asleep on the phone together and say we love each other. Rn I am taking it as friends but like come on. I asked if I could post her on my instagram with a caption saying mine and she wasn’t weirded out she just said I better pick a good pic. We’re not dating but there’s signs that we could be more. On insta her liked posts are always popping up and it’s cute couple stuff that I can only assume is referring to me. We send some posts like that where it’s like I love you or matching outfits and watching movies stuff like that but we’re just friends. There was a time when we were teens where some kid we had met was asking her for explicit pics and she removed him after that and I remember saying that’s crazy bro he was our friend and I remember her saying something like “I didn’t really care that he asked I wouldn’t send him any but I wouldn’t mind if you did cause you’re someone I trust” I remember my heart went down into my ass and I was shocked she said that. I just told her that I’m happy she trusts me enough but I never pursued her like that. 1 I was scared. And 2 I didn’t want that to be how it starts. I really liked her and I wasn’t wanting her for any perverted way. Well after a while we got busy with school and she got a boyfriend, I remember I had gotten a car and I was out at the movies with my boy when she told me she was gonna remove me to “work on herself” but she gave me her phone number in case I didn’t have it so we kept in touch. Recently we started talking again and now we’re closer than we ever have been. Like I said we’re both adults now and we have plans to meet each other sometime near the end of the year. Her and her family is coming to my state so I’m hoping to make a good impression with her parents and with her. I have shown her and told her how much she means to me and she’s done the same but I don’t want to tell her I want to be more and she leaves again you know? I’m scared that I’ll make things weird or that I’ll cause her to pull away if she’s not reciprocating. I also have terrible self esteem ever since I was little so I couldn’t even picture myself being with someone as beautiful as her. She’s amazing and I want to be the one that gets to love her but I don’t have the balls to tell her. I’ve told her how I love pandas and she told me she’s gonna get a tattoo of a panda for me. Is that something a friend would do? I don’t want to miss my chance with her because of fear but I also don’t know how we could work it out. Living in separate states and it’s not like a state besides mine it’s far way. She’s also said she’s gonna make me a box with Polaroid pics of herself to add to the back of my phone case. Is that something a friend does? Am I reading too deep into it. If I can grow a pair I want to ask her to be my gf when she comes visit but only if it goes well and I’m feeling the vibes but idk. It’s still gonna be a while and I’m a chicken. Any advice?