life lately

I’m an incoming senior this academic year, and I’m currently doing my internship as part of my requirements to graduate. I was initially enrolled to a prestigious university in my country but recently got kicked out due to my failing grades thanks to my mental health. Since then, it hasn’t gotten any better. I thought to myself that if maybe I get a glimpse of what my life would be like after school, then maybe I could get some sort of motivation to continue. This is mainly because I have always linked my mental health problems to my acads (me just findings other things to put a blame on whatever is going in my mind). Now that I’m doing my internship, things hasn’t changed and I’m still unmotivated and I keep on thinking about ending things now that I totally have no hope at all for the future since I still feel like sh*t. Are there any more to do? I stopped taking my meds since they were only prescribed to me by a neurologist. My dad decided to have me checked on by a neurologist since he doesn’t really know much about mental health issues really… should I go back to taking my meds even if I’m not diagnosed yet by a psychiatrist? Currently supposed to take vortioxetine…