OCD

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I'm 26 M and have been suffering from overthinking, maladaptive daydreaming, anxiety, depression, and mainly OCD since my teenage.

I went to a psychologist recently but she talked me friendly and then she didn't responded very well and we didn't move on.

Right now my OCD is getting worse, my stomach is worse and headache is even worse than it. Sometimes even painkillers doesn't work for the headache at all.

But the worst part is having suicidal thoughts. I'm continuously getting thoughts of killing myself and then get more depressed over thoughts of not killing myself. I don't want to end my life but I can't control my suicidal thoughts at all.

I can't even take a slightest tension, sometimes I feel like I should bang my head to the wall just to divert my mind toward the physical pain.

I can't even focus on work too. I have to read a short paragraph twice or thrice just to understand it. I'm losing everything in my life, like can't work my relationship is getting worse but we are always fighting each other. I don't see a future of myself at all.