2nd baby/mmc/ttc

Hi,

I was just thinking about sharing my story, and hope to help someone who need some encouragement.

Iam 36, i have 1 daughter who is 7 years old. We decided to have a 2nd child a year ago. We started to try from november. It was very hard time for me. I was much more anxious of all the "what if" and the things i couldnt control.

I was worried if im too "old" what if my eggs are bad etc.

my menstruation has changed after i gave birth, i had a period for 2 days then totaly stoped at day 3 and then some spotting. I used ovulation test and i noticed that even if my menstruation cycle is 29-31 days like it was when i was pregnent the first time, my ovulation has shifted from cd 16 to cd 11-12. That made me super sad that i will not be able to produce a good egg. When we didnt want to try for a child this did t bother me ,but when we started all this little things started to worry me.

We were at the 6 months trying period, when i tested positive :) yeees

We were super excited, i ovulated cd 11 just like usually.

My husband was super chill everything is great we did it ,everything will work out like it did before.

I was not that calm, i wanted to to an early ultrasound which we did at w6d2.

We couldnt see anything just the gestational sack, and maybe a beginning of a yolksack. They told me everything is fine i might be not 6+ bla bla.

Bit i knew it. I went in for that appointment expect see a heart flickering.

I just knew.

We came home, we did another ultrasound 6 days later. And to my suprise we find a yolk sac a baby and a little flickering heart.

I got a bit more relaxed, but nothing made sense in my calculations.

2 weeks after this i noticed some very very little amount of pink blood and some lower back pain.

We went in to the hospital and they told me that everything was around the same size like my last ultrasound and there was no heart beat.

The said its a mmc and i ended up taken the pill w11d1.

Which i was suuuper anxious about. I was scared how much its going to hurt, how traumatic it is going to be.

But at the end i was happy how everything went dowmn.

They wanted me to take the pill in the hospital just in case i would bleed a lot( my placenta was still growing even at week 11.

But to be honest, im very grateful now. It feels like everything that happend that day, stayed in the hospital. I didnt need to suffer in my shower, me and my husband just had each outher in the hopsital for 10 hours and i got all his support and attention i needed that day.

So i took the pill 5th of june.

I bled for 4-5 days then some spotting.my last spotting was 15th of june. I still had hcg in my system 18 of june. Then a 10mui sensitivity pregnency test on 22 of june.

I started to test with ovulation test from 20th of june which had a strong lime but far to long of being positive. I kept testing till 30th of june but than i gave up cause up untill 25-26 it was the same strength , but never a real positive. And then after 26 almost totaly not visible.

I started to get sad that i missed my window, and that .y cycle is not comeing back in 4 weeks..

I started spotting 1st of July. I was like great then my period will come in time(i usually spot).3 days spotting some lower belly pain but no period. Im like thank you from teasing me but its enough now, just come.

I had a dream 4th of July that i am pregnent and that my test was soo strong i didnt need to search for that 2ndline.

I woke up sunday morning, i didnt have any spotting, as a matter of fact i hade some white cm.

I did an early detection test, and it was super positive 🧡🧡

And all of a sudden everything just made sense.

Im still not sure exactly about my ovulation but i put it around 25th of june, which puts me much later than my usual ovulation.

Im not sure why i couldn't get my lh surge. But somehow it just worked.

The only thing i felt was that 2 weeks after i took the pill, i very much didnt feel like i wanted to have sex. It felt like i didnt heal inside,my uterus or whatever in there. And then all of a sudden 22th of june i was like now something has changed, lets go :)

So we ended up having sex 22th of june and 27th of june.

I put my self around 13 dpo now.

I am not sure how this pregnency will go, but i am super excited and have a good feeling about it. We will see, i hope i am right :)

Why i wanted to write all of this i that sometimes we can not trust the test. We can try to figure out everything our body is doing,but in the end of the day we have so little control of this.

I wish everyone good like and dont give up🫶💪