Bf won’t go down on me

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 6 months. I’m his first everything. His first time holding hands with a girl, first kiss, etc. I am a lot more experienced than him. I’ve had a few boyfriends but none of them were serious. I have also kissed people stuff. That being said, he is def my longest and most serious relationship.

We don’t have sex because we’re both not ready for that, but we kiss and he fingers me and I go down on him.

He only went down on me once, it was probably about 2 or 3 months into the relationship. He didn’t really know what to do and it was my first time someone did that to me so I didn’t really know how to guide him. We stopped after a few minutes. Since then, I have asked him about every month or so if he could try again and he would always just put it off and say “i will eventually” and I was just like ok. I would say to him that I really want that from him because I want to experience that with him but I kept asking him if I was making him feel pressured or uncomfortable and everytime he said that I wasn’t making him feel weird and that he would do it eventually.

It didn’t bother me much because my close friend and her boyfriend did the same thing too. (Her boyfriend is best friends with my boyfriend btw). Her boyfriend only went down on her once or twice and she still went down on him anyway. About a week ago, I was taking to her and she said that her boyfriend goes down on her a lot now without having to ask anymore. This made me sad because i wanted the same thing so I was texting my boyfriend about it and he promised he would do it the next time he sees me.

Yesterday he came over and I made sure to shave and everything beforehand. We were in my bed doing stuff and I asked him if he wanted to do it and like he usually does he responded with “Maybe another time”. I was confused and I was asking him why he changed his mind and he just said that when he promised the other day he felt differently and he just doesn’t want to anymore. I’ve previously asked him if it’s because of the smell or taste and he always says that it’s not because of that. I asked him the same thing a lot last night and he still said it wasn’t that. He was just being quiet and not giving me a direct answer and I asked him, ”Does it gross you out?” and he was like “Hmmm I mean maybe a little bit yeah”. This made me upset because it just made me feel embarrassed and weird. I can’t really explain it. I kept trying to ask him questions so I could know what the reason was but all i got was that he just doesn’t like that. The whole vibe was off and we were just sitting in silence on our phones with our backs turned to each other. He asked me if I was mad at him and I said I wasn’t and that I’m just sad because you think my vagina is gross. He said that he doesn’t think that and I was just like ok. A few mins later I told him that I don’t really feel comfortable going down on him anymore and he was just like ok. I couldn’t tell if he was mad or something maybe he was idk. We barely said anything else after that and he left a few mins later. He texted me later “Sorry about tn”
and I said “I sorry too” and he said it’s ok. We haven’t said anything else about it since.** **

What should I do from here? I don’t want to pressure him into doing something he doesn’t want to do, because I respect his boundaries. At the same time, I enjoy going down on him, but after hearing him say that going down on me is “maybe a little” gross, I feel embarrassed and now I don’t know if I feel comfortable doing it anymore. It also just feels unfair. Should I bring this up again, wait until we see each other, or just leave it alone?